5 Steps On Setting Up A Routine

5 Simple Steps on Setting Up a Routine

To preface, we want to share that routines could look differently for each family. What works for one family might not work for another! 

However, all routines have similar traits which will make them successful:

• They must be planned

• They must be predictable

• They must be regular!

Although this is not a one size fits all, we wanted to provide some tips on how to provide routine for your child. We’ve gathered the most important components of what makes a good routine, but you can always tweak it to your liking.

1. Establish the most important times

- Wake up time

- Breakfast

- Lunch

- Dinner

- Shower/bath time

- Bed time 

Try to aim to have everyone eat, sleep and play at the same time. Having expectations that everyone comes together for meals can provide structure and organization for your child and family. 

2. Practice patience, repetition, more practice and repeat!

• Although it’s okay to be flexible and keep time frames loose, it’s consistency in routines that’ll help make routines stick

• For little ones (and grown ups too!), it can take a long time and great effort to adapt to structure 

3. Establish special times with your child

• Make expectations of spending quality family time whether that’s having a regular board game night once a week or making Saturday night a movie night 

• During the day: Think of an activity you both can do together to connect during your day. Even if it’s a short time, practicing being present and giving your undivided attention (without devices) can go a long way

• During the night: Make time to connect before bedtime, whether that’s 10 mins of snuggling, talking about a highlight of their day or reading 

4. Adjust as needed

• Take time to revisit your week and see what worked, what didn’t. You can ask your child too on what they appreciated the most or would like to see changed. As we mentioned before, each child and family is different, so tailoring your schedule accordingly is important. Just keep in mind that the essential times (wake up time, meals, bedtime) plays the most important role in your child’s routine

5. Accept that it won’t be easy! 

• Practice self-compassion by reminding yourself that new routines are hard, especially when confronted with challenging times or transitions. Take moments to breathe, let yourself know that you’re trying your best and that tomorrow will be another day!

The science 

For those of you who are interested in the science behind the importance of routines here is some information. 

Our nervous system needs and craves predictability. Consistency, knowing what to expect and when, helps us from the time that we are born, to regulate our emotions and to tolerate big feelings. Imagine if someone kept turning the thermostat at home or work up and down all the time, it would not feel very nice to be cold one minute and really hot the next and have no idea whether to keep the sweater on or off. Having routines is like a thermostat for our nervous system. 

Wisdom from parents

Establishing routines is really hard and depending on your family situation they can also be really challenging. Parents tell us time and time again that sticking to routines no matter how difficult makes things easier in the long run. Their children are more settled, less displays of big feelings and parents or caregivers feel more in control, and this feeling allows children to feel a deeper sense of security. 

How can we help?

Raising a child or a couple of them is no easy task! Some parent(s) / caregivers do not have access to resources and or extended family and friends for support. So you if would like our support in helping you on your parenting journey or feel your child could benefit from therapeutic support, please do not hesitate to contact us about our services. You can reach our lovely Sandra to book a complimentary phone call via admin@artastherapy.ca or call her on 519 307 9000 / 905 783 5939.

References

www.petitjourney.com.au

Strategies on Reducing Anxiety around Bedtime

When scary, unpredictable or big things are happening in children’s lives, they may experience some challenges sleeping in their own bedroom. We believe that parents and caregivers are the experts and can intuitively decide what their child’s sleeping arrangements look like. Here are some strategies for caregivers who are making changes in sleeping arrangements, finding their child no longer wants to sleep alone and or would like to transition their child to sleeping in a separate room. 

1. Not being on a device for an hour or two before bedtime. Videogames and tv shows can have scary images or the sensory overload could be overwhelming for a child to sleep right after. The artificial blue light that’s emitted also delays the release of melatonin, making it more difficult to fall asleep.  Instead, this can be a time for family activities like playing board games, bath or a relaxing activity such as colouring, reading or puzzles. 

2. Let your child know that their bedroom is a safe place. You can first listen to what their fears are and validate them that we all feel scared at times. You can then reassure your child that it is a safe place even if you are not in the room with them. If they get out of bed to come to you in the middle of the night, try bringing them back to their bed after validating and reassuring again. You could try setting a limit and say "just 5 minutes and I am going to bring you back to your room, you can do it!" Your gentle, kind and reassuring approach, will  support them in learning that staying in their bed is safe. 

Remember if they are visibly upset, over tired and inconsolable, their higher thinking ability may be offline, so at this point keeping them in your bed might be the only way to calm down their nervous system and help them feel safe. If this is the case and you feel intuitively that physical proximity is the immediate need for your child, meet that need and you can try again the following night. 

3. Sensory comfort. This may be using essential oils, a comfy blanket, sleeping with a stuffed animal or a pet. Sometimes using a transitional object may be helpful. A transitional object might be an item that represents you or represents comfort/safety. 

4. Bedtime ritual. Having a bedtime ritual when in bed might be helpful. It might be talking about the day, reading a book, etc. You can brainstorm together what the activities can be with your child so they can have a say and feel in control before sleeping.

5. Reassurance. Some children require that extra comfort. Ultimately they need to feel comforted, reassured and safe in their own room. Leading up to bed time, try to acknowledge how wonderful, capable and brave your child is and that you are right in their heart even if you're physically in the next room. Reminding them that there’s an invisible string connecting them to you no matter how far you are, or that they have enormous power in their heart that will help them wherever they are can be comforting. Oftentimes children can pick up on your own anxiety or frustration so it’s important that you are gentle yet model confidence. It’s possible! 

6. Connection. Our nervous system craves predictability in order to feel safe and regulated. During times of stress or uncertainty, a child may exhibit behaviors that indicate that their nervous system is not feeling safe. These behaviors may manifest in mysterious ways and will require some deciphering. You may see increased disruptive behaviour, silliness, more fighting with siblings, refusing to do certain tasks, easily upset, lots of tears, and or changes in sleep and eating habits. Taking a playful and curious approach to such behaviors provides an opportunity to the parent or caregiver, to understand why this behavior is taking place. 

Suggesting a moment to reset, slowing down and paying attention to what is happening might reduce the disruption. Remember, behavior always means something! One of the ways to manage this is by increasing connectedness both during the day as well as before bedtime. Connectedness can be as simple as cuddling on the sofa, going for a walk, reading a book, colouring together, doing a household task together, or having a chat while providing sensory comfort. This may sound impossible, especially if you're working from home while looking after the home and other children, pets, older parents…., however keeping in mind that connecting time does not have to be long, might make it feel less overwhelming. Even short moments of connection throughout the day can be deeply beneficial and support the child’s nervous system to regulate. 

We hope you find these suggestions useful and if you have any ideas for us or would like to learn more about how we can support you or your family, please feel free to connect with us via admin@artastherapy.ca or call 519 307 9000. We provide in person and online support. Also remember to follow us on instagram, facebook and twitter. We regularly share resources and art making ideas!

Talking to children and teens about the Coronavirus

Living with the unknown can be anxiety provoking and frightening for adults at the best of times. For children, who are still developing their emotional intelligence skills, living with and tolerating uncertainty, may not be easy to manage.

There are many steps that parents and or caregivers can take to support a child or teen during this unusual and disruptive time. Based on an article written by the experts at childmind.org we have put together some tips on how to share information about COVID-19. Keeping children in the dark about what is happening may further increase anxiety; we feel open conversation can help to reduce the fear and give space for a child or teen to express what is on their mind regarding the situation. This verbal sharing can be very powerful and strengthen their sense of connection to their parent or caregiver.

At Art as Therapy, we believe that we all have an inherent power (our kid client’s call it their super power) that is ever present and has the potential to help us overcome any difficulty or challenge we face. We can tap into this power through simple action.

This could be by engaging in a frequent hand washing routine; practicing social distancing, cleaning or organizing toys and belongings, baking, sending video notes to family members or friends, creating a safety fort with objects around the house or creating art.

Inviting and encouraging children to take action (however small) can help them to feel empowered and strong. This feeling of “I can” can alleviate big feelings like anxiety and fear. Together we can use our individual power to collectively navigate the unknown. We are in this together! We can get through this time!

Adapted from an article written by https://childmind.org/article/talking-to-kids-about-the-coronavirus/

Art Therapy support for vicarious trauma: support for social workers

As adults we sometimes forget about taking time to pause and take care of ourselves. This can especially be true for professionals such as social workers who work to tend to other people’s needs. The amount of stress and trauma that the person is exposed to for a prolonged period of time can have a serious impact on the person’s mind, body and their overall wellness.

Vicarious Trauma

Vicarious trauma is a term used to describe a person who is traumatized by witnessing or becoming aware of the trauma of another person. For example, social workers who work in child welfare, this might look like hearing stories of people who have gone through traumatic experiences, reading file notes, and or working with them. Often times in literature, the word vicarious trauma is replaced with words such as compassion fatigue and burnout. Over time, being exposed to high stress and traumatic cases can have a negative impact on wellbeing. It is important to be aware of the signals that our bodies send us and to find healthy ways to tend to those needs to reduce the negative effects.

Art Therapy and Self Care for Caring Professionals

Art therapy can be beneficial for adults as a means of self care, especially for professionals working in high stress environments. Engaging in the process of making something, while talking as well, can provide a client opportunities to gain a deeper understanding of their feelings, reflect on what might be going on for them internally, and feel supported, as they work out how they would like to shift their thoughts and feelings to manage more adaptively. With no prior art making knowledge necessary, clients have the opportunity to tell their unique stories in a safe inviting confidential space. The art therapy process can allow a caring professional to take the time to pause and pay attention to their needs, while honouring all that they give to the children, youth and families they serve.

Art as Therapy therapists are Registered Psychotherapists, psychotherapy sessions are covered by most extended health benefit programs.

You can also visit our instagram, facebook and youtube pages for more information and resources.

Reference: https://www.tendacademy.ca/resources/defining-vicarious-trauma-and-secondary-traumatic-stress/

7 Simple Ways to Keep Peace During the Christmas Season

Guest Blog by Kimberley Milousis

The Christmas holidays are meant to be a time to rest and reflect upon the year and on the loving spirit of Jesus. It's so easy to forget this and get caught up in the stresses of all the food we have to prepare, and gifts we have to buy, and extra places we have to commute to. Here are the ways I refocus on what matters during the holiday season.

1. Have a Relaxing Morning Routine

The way you start your day sets the pace for how the rest of the day will play out. Some powerful habits to cultivate in the morning include: Morning prayers, meditation, breathing, yoga, qigong, stretching, working out, goal-setting, reading a motivating or spiritual text, mindfulness, ... or anything else that gets your body and mind relaxed while focusing your energy on what you will accomplish in the day.

2. Take 5-min Breaks Every 25 mins Working

Taking short breaks frequently during work will do wonders for body and mind. You will notice that by stretching your eyes, your back, and your limbs - and even just giving your mind some down time - you will be happier, relaxed, and surprisingly more productive! Set a timer for 25 minutes whenever you start working, and simply get up and see what's going on with your body for a few minutes whenever the timer goes off.


3. Take a Break from your Story 

We lose so much energy thinking! Our minds cost significant biochemical resources to operate. By spending so much of our day thinking about the past or imaginary future situations, we use up a LOT of our daily energy, leading to mental stress, bodily tension, and overall burnout. Take a break from your mind by not buying into the alluring stories your mind makes up. Practice this skill through daily mindfulness and meditation. 

4. Use Essential Oils to Help Release Tension

Whenever I feel tense or stressed, I combine mental techniques - like intentional breathing - with physical medicine like essential oils to maximize my relaxation. The best oils I use for relaxing are Lavender Oil, the Peace Oil Blend, and the Serenity Oil Blend. Lavender is known for it's relaxation properties and has been used by natural healers for thousands of years. Both the Peace Oil Blend and the Serenity Oil Blend combine Lavender with other relaxing plants for maximum effect. I use Serenity at night and Peace in the day.

5. Don't Over-Eat

Our Western culture tends to eat way more than we need to, and it's actually incredibly harmful for our bodies. Our live has over 300 different process it does to detox and heal the body, and it can't do any of them if you're digesting food. Intermittent fasting (not eating from 6pm until 9am) and eating only until you're 70% full are both powerful methods for allowing your liver to heal your body. With less energy going into digesting, you'll have more energy to enjoy the rest of your day and you will be less stressed and tired as a result.

6. Take Time to do Something Fun for Yourself

Take time every day to do activities in the physical world (ie. not online) which you genuinely love and enjoy doing. Focus on expressing and being a creator during these times. When you find places you really love to put your energy into, more energy will naturally bubble up from within you so you can keep creating.

7. Focus on Relaxing an Hour Prior to Sleeping

Your night routine is just as important as your morning routine! The night is the time for your body to heal and relax itself so you can be rested and energized for the following day. If you are on technology or are stimulating your body with food or stressful activity, then you won't be doing the healing you so desperately need during the night, because your body-mind will be processing all the other stimulation you just put into it. Take the our before bedtime to do only relaxing and restful activities. A small amount of nightly prayers, meditation, or movement will help you relax deeper as you sleep.

Warmly,
Kimberley
Are you interested in finding out more about essential oils? Visit Kimberley’s Essential Oil page: https://kimberleymilousis.com/essential-oils/